thoughtlessthought

I've had just about all I can take! I really think its time you split, time we parted weighs. For the longest time.. I tolerated you, a little more...here and there ...didn't really pay much attention in some weighs. But now you've made me feel uncomfortable on more than one occasion. Clothes I used to like to wear, that I felt comfortable in, you no longer permit me to use. Its like the attitude of "You can't go out wearing that!" and if I try something different maybe bigger and better you complain even more.. that "I can't be, and won't be, seen around you, if you wear that!" I've tried to talk about it ...but nothing really happens as a result of the talks. So now its time for action.

I know a big part of it is my fault. I know I've been slack with you lately and now...well....I'm beginning to realize what its like to be taken advantage of ... at first I didn't mind you hanging around from time to time, you'd come and you go that was fine; then we began to see each other more and more and more ... it was then I realized how you had really grown on me.

Oh sure people warned me...family, friends and even doctors I know, all offering advice telling me what was best for me! Saying you were no good for me and that I should stay away from you before you put me in a hospital or something. And yes, I probably denied it for quite a while saying oh I'm a big boy I can handle it...but now you are causing me great pain and you have to leave. You bother me soooo much now that I can't even tie my boots without you getting in my way!!! If I try to get away and go upstairs so I can have my own space you're right there walking up with me damn it, weighing me down like a 50 lb bag of potatoes and a 10 lb bag of flour and a 5lb bag of sugar...you're sucking the breath right out of me. You know there are times you've made me sick to my stomach. So, I figure, if I don't like the way you make me feel, then its time I did something about it so I am going to walk and down the road, maybe even run ...until you are no longer a big part of my life!!!

I realize we've been together for quite a while now and that you will always be a part of me and I guess that's OK but I really feel this relationship isn't a healthy one and thats why you have to move on. My God...you know I just realized I don't even want to sleep with you anymore. I guess that pretty much sums it up.

I had this realization on March 4 at approx 245 (lbs that is).