thoughtlessthought

A TIME TO REMEMBER

Tears...even now. The last couple of days...people noticing...the lupins in the wind...some say its you waving. The squirrels...their presence...supervising me as I repair a deck you built over thirty years ago...guiding me... to be patient, hmmm was that you?

You hadn't smoked in over 35 years but the damage was done, both lungs...I remember the doctors were so amazed that your heart was so incredibly strong... Of course your brain needed you to be able to breathe and you no longer could even though your heart kept trying oh so very hard to keep you. Mum and I held your hands as your chest made its last made its last valiant effort for life...but instead closed the door on your pain and opened the door to your peace. That picture is so vivid in my head...and I remember the sounds...so clearly...a very large breath in as if to signal something ... as this breath was quite different than your others, I leaned over to tell you that...its okay...and ...we love you...and then ...your last breath out ... the sound, its so...........it reminded me exactly of an old steam engine locomotive that had just completed a long journey and made its final stop at the station ...the sound of that last puff of steam from the stack...then stillness. The Moment!


Hey what do you know... the birds are at the feeder and I can see them from my window and there's a yellow one, a finch I think, remember???

3 years today, gee!

Oh and Dad ...these tears are called "Happy Memory Tears" and yeah, I miss you!

PS: I will be performing in a Shakespeare play, haha ...yeah I know, I didn't either...but life goes on!

PSS: SHE FINALLY POOPED IN HER POTTY!!!!!!!